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Me and my Family

Me and my Family

Friday, February 5, 2010

20th post! Still Walking the Land and Now I am ASKING!

So, this is my 20th blog post. It's been an amazing journey so far. I've learned that I love to write and that I CRAVE feedback.No surprise on the feedback part.  I've always been a bit high maintenance as far as positive attention goes. I wonder if my need to connect stems from birth order. I'm the youngest behind two outspoken and funny older siblings. In my family, it's whoever talks the loudest or has the best story get's the attention. Perhaps that explains my need to put things out there and get a response. Hopefully a good one!

I'm enjoying taking the walk down Blog Lane. The Lord clearly called me to start this blog.  It has pushed my creativity as a daycare provider/mom and as a writer. I continue to "Walk the Land" trying to figure out where this is leading. I don't know what will happen, but I just have this feeling something huge is about to happen.

I have not filled my daycare slot from when D left. I have posted my opening on Facebook and sent emails to my church to let them know I have availability. I  have even posted on craigslist. I have had plenty of referrals, but all have been for little babies who would likely get crushed by the bunch that I keep. I continue to pray for God to send a family with a child who will fit in with my rowdy bunch, if that is his will.

Lately though, I have been feeling as if maybe I am NOT supposed to add another child to the mix. Maybe it isn't God's Will. The issue is then, that I have to make that money somewhere to keep my family afloat. So, I have also been praying that God would provide that money for my family some other way... AND that the way would be clear VERY SOON.

I keep praying and remembering that verse, "He who began a good work in you will be faithful to complete it." I also have been hearing the words, "He will not leave you or forsake you" in my head. The Lord placed me on this journey. First, to stay home and keep kids, next, to teach music one night a week for Da Capo, and now, to write this blog. Where will HE send me next?

I talked to my mom about my prayers and my concerns. I shared with her that I was reading in John, because that was my Bible reading for that day. The Lord said over and over," If you know me, ask anything in my name, and you shall receive." Later that day, Mom forwarded me a devotional email she gets from Rick Warren each week. God's Financial Provision-Ask Him for Help


 As I read the post, I saw verses that confirmed what God was telling me in my own devotional time. ASK! ASK! ASK! So, I'm asking daily for God to provide for my family financially. I am asking for God to provide financial stability this the summer, when both of the kids I watch will be home with their parents and I will be without a paycheck. I am asking for God to use my talents to his Glory and to use them to provide for my family. I am asking God to use also Ben's gifts and talents at work to HIS Glory and to use them to bring more financial stability to provide for our family. I am asking not only for help now, but also for our future with college and weddings. I am asking God for ANSWERS.

I feel a bit like a brat asking God for all of these things. But if I don't ask, I won't receive. It's God's Will for me to ask. He has showed me this over and over. I have to humble myself and admit I can't do it on my own. Who wants to admit they don't have all of the answers? No one. God knows this, so he is taking the pressure off by telling us it is okay to ask for our hearts desires. The disclaimer? KNOW HIM.

So, I am praying daily. I am working to know GOD more. I am STILL walking the land, and now I am ASKING. Perhaps God's answers will be that HUGE thing I have been anticipating. Please pray for clarity and answers for my prayers.
May God Bless you and Keep you!

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

A...ask
S...seek
K...Knock
All my love and prayers to you, my "precious" baby girl.
Mom

wilton said...

I love my little girl & I will continue to pray daily for you, Ben & Ruby! He will provide & I know, because I ask daily & He has provided over & over for me! Dad

charlotte said...

I am very proud to know the young woman that you have become. You are a very good Mother and a wonderful care keeper of other children.

You have a wonderful husband a beautiful daughter and I feel that God has already blessed you.
I know that your parents are very proud of you.

Alison said...

Have you considered keeping older children for before and after school care? It would open up your whole elementary school district to you - they would just take a different bus to get to your house then their own home. I'm just thinking that it will be difficult to find a 2 year old because they would probably be well established with daycare already. Since your don't want to keep infants, this may be a good option. Just a thought...

Anonymous said...

Hey there!
I think your need to connect prob also stems from the fact that us mommy's really do need to stick together. To compare notes, to learn, to laugh...to cry! The most challenging and best job on earth...

Jessica said...

I've thought about it Allison. But one, I don't really know anyone looking for that in my area right now, and two, I'd have to extend my hours probably and I already work a 10 hour day.6:45-4:45. I teach a music class one night a week. I have to be there at 6:15. I don't thing I could work until 5:30, and get to my class on time. If the right person came along it might work. I'm still praying! That's probably a better option once Ruby is in school and I meet some parents.

aplaceforthoughts said...

Jessica-
I'll definitely keep you in my prayers (and I could use a few as well if you have a spare second in yours ;) )

Thank you for this post. So many take too long to realize that it is okay to ask and to long to realize that God is there no matter what.

Wishing you and your family the best of God's blessings always.

Leslie said...

Try listing yourself on Care.com ..
Have a blessed day!