Friday, January 22, 2010
It was gut wrenching to hear her cry for her "papies". After 30 minutes of hysterical crying and when we told her that it had gone away, I decided to try another tactic. "Ruby, the papies is broken." I continued, "It broke! Do you want to see?" I called Ben upstairs and in code I told him what to do. A few minutes later, Ben returned with the broken passy in hand. The nipple end was completely gone.
"Ruby, the papies broke because you are too big for it now and used it all up." Ruby quietly looked at the papies turning it around and around in her little hands. She put it to her mouth where the nipple use to be and tried to put it in her mouth. "It's broken? fix it, mommy!" Ruby said in the most pitiful voice. "I can't , it's broken."I replied.
The pitiful voice began to escalate, " Get other one! Where other one?" "It broke too! Do you want to see?" "Ruby see!" So, Ben brought the other broken papies in the room and again she examined them both as she had before. She tried again to put them in her mouth. And then, her crying began into climb into a place I am not sure I could explain any other way than the wail of utter loss. The same tears of sadness and hysterical sobbing that you only see at funerals.
For the next hour and half Ben and I tag teamed the hysterically devastated Ruby. We let her wear her pearl necklace to help her be brave. I found a pink and frilly hair bow that was large enough to act as a "we don't need the papies bracelet. Ben gave her water. I rubbed her back. We sang goodbye songs to the papies.
For almost two hours I listened to tear covered phrases like," I so sad", "MORE PAPIES", and "All done sleepin'". Every time I tried to leave the room she would start back up again. Finally, I had to threaten to make her take off the necklace if she didn't stay in bed. I almost had to do it once, and that was enough to get her to be quiet long enough to fall asleep.
I am VERY nervous about what could happen at 3:00 AM when she wakes up looking for the papies. I am worried about what nap-time tomorrow will be like with out her papies. I am worried that this whole things will start over again at bedtime tomorrow night. Should I be worried about answering for this when I get to heaven? Prayers, y'all! We need Prayers!
Posted by Jessica Coaker at 10:19 PM