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As summer approaches many people look forward to a relaxed schedule. Sleeping in, going to the pool, margaritas with friends,outdoor concerts, and family vacations are all things that I associate with summer.Pre-Ruby, Ben and I would have friends over for cook outs and some late night fun around the fire pit on our patio. We would stay up late jammin' out to our favorite tunes with no worries because the earliest we would ever be up was 10:00 on the weekends. Spur of the moment trips to visit friends was no big deal. We had the freedom to come and go as much as we pleased.
While updating my calendar today I couldn't help but notice how much things have changed. In place of cook outs, we now have a gazillion kids birthday parties. In place of late nights and sleeping in, we have less late nights and a 2 year old who wakes up at 6:30 regardless of what time we go to bed. Instead of spur of the moment trips we now have to actually plan ahead and figure out how Ruby and our dog Dozer will be cared for while we are gone. We actually have to BE responsible adults.
Don't get me wrong, I LOVE MY LIFE. I am soooo blessed to have such a wonderful husband and AMAZING daughter. But every now and then Ben and I take a trip down memory lane and laugh at how easy our life use to be. At the time, however, we didn't feel that way. I have wondered what I would say to myself if I could have aBill and Ted's Excellent Adventure moment. First, I'd have to find a phone booth, which are pretty much non-existent since cell phones. After that though, what would I say to a younger(and skinnier), pre-Ruby but still married me?
Hmmmm... That's a tricky one. It's tricky because the decisions I have made have made me who I am and I like who I am. Maybe I would give her some inside tips on who to invest in so we wouldn't ever have to worry about money. Maybe I would tell her to stop obsessing over her weight. Maybe I would tell her not to buy that Chevy Aveo because with her 6 foot 9 husband and giant dog in it, a car seat won't fit! Maybe I would tell her to enjoy this alone time with Ben because after you have kids, there isn't much alone time. I would definitely tell her that her future is awesome and to stop worrying.
What would you say to your younger self? Would you say anything at all? Would you change anything about your past? Or do you embrace it for who it made you today?
I have a fun assignment for you all! Call your friends, plan ahead for a cookout with no kids. Enjoy your summer night fun and pose the "what would you say to your pre-kids self?" questions to your friends. I would love to hear what they have to say. Be sure to post a comment and pass this on to your friends to read! This could be very fun and interesting!
Happy Summer Everyone!
Me and my Family
Friday, June 4, 2010
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4 comments:
Very interesting indeed. I am going to have to ask the question and think about this one for a while. Great post as always Jessica.
WOW....did I ever not have kids??? Wasn't I born with kids???
Back in the day, we didn't wait as long to start our family. Of course, your Dad and I were high school sweethearts and married after I finished college. Then too, we had to wait for your Dad to complete his "active duty" training with the army reserves.
I guess I would say.... enjoy and really get to know each other. Communicate your expectations and roles for parenthood....the good the bad and the ugly.
Take time to realize that parenting is a full time job but passes by so quickly. There are no "do overs,"and know that your child will hate you at least once and its okay.
Having children will not save a bad marriage but will definitely test and strain even a good one.
Remember that children learn what they see more than they listen to what you say.
Teach them about a God who loves them, always.
There is not enough space to convey all that I wished I had known.
Just LOVE your kids and teach them right from wrong, a good work ethic, honesty and to care!
Hi Jessica! Great post! I'll have to think about this one a bit! ;)
Ok Jess, this is Laurie (from Belmont)so as you know I had my daughter at a very young age. I am currently finishing my teaching degree with an 11 and 2 year old. I laugh at the "younger" kids in my education classes because they think they are so stressed and busy. Like working 4hrs at the Gap is a huge commitment. Most of the girls are around 22y/o and I look at them like aliens. By the time I was 22 I had a 3y/o and was working on my second marriage. I wish I could go back to high school and yell at myself...lol But I wouldnt change my life for anything in the world! Great post Jess.
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